The Next Phase

It is almost seven months since I moved back home with my parents. I am pleased to say that this week I am moving into the centre of The Hague (The Netherlands), where I have found a great flat, which I will be sharing with a lovely, new friend. I am looking forward to moving in, but not so much the actual moving part!

I am thankful, though, that I don’t have to be out of my parents’ home immediately. I can take my time this week to get my stuff over to the flat. I already feel less stressed because of this. And for the first time ever, it’s nice to know that my family live down the road, not in another country. My dream of living close to them again has finally come true.

I am excited about the next stage in my life. It’s a new adventure, and one that seems to be focused on creativity. I can’t wait to experience the cultural side of the city, finding out what is on and taking part in the many things that The Hague seems to offer. 

As some of you know, I have been doing more writing recently; I am taking it more seriously than ever before. I will be able to access places where I can experience a regular ‘artist’s date’ as Julia Cameron (author of The Artist’s Way) puts it. An artist’s date is something for yourself that will get you inspired, whether it’s a trip to a museum, an art gallery, a film or anything that stimulates your creativity. Something you can do on your own and which will satisfy the artist within. 

So for me it’s a chance to get inspired to write, as I have many ideas of what I want to write about. For example, I would like to keep up this blog every week, write and publish a few (health/wellbeing-related) e-books and articles, as well as writing fiction and poetry.

It’s also an opportunity to spend more time on one of my hobbies, jewellery making. What I would love to do is a silver-smith course, and to design my own pieces of silver jewellery. Alongside that, I would like to go to bead shops and buy materials to make pieces either to give as presents to friends and family, or to sell at local bazaars and markets.

At the same time, I am keen to continue helping my clients feel good about themselves in body and mind, so I will further explore my options of running my business in The Hague.

I am flying away from the nest again, and I am ready for and excited about my new adventure. I will keep you posted on how I get on.

Here’s to the next phase of my life!

Pass It On

How often do you find you cannot repay someone when they’ve done something wonderful for you? Does it make you feel you have to repay them, with exactly the thing they gave you? What if it was money, with no strings attached? Do you feel guilty? Or do you believe that one day you will be able to ‘pass on’ this kindness to someone else entirely?

Over the years, I have received help, love, money and other things, which I sometimes could not give back to the person who gave me those things in the first place. I would say, in most cases, the ‘giving’ person never expected anything back from me (that I am aware of!) and that makes it even more special. 

I am a great believer in helping one another. For example, whilst I want to build up my business, I also want to help others who are doing the same. I was having a conversation with a group of women not long ago, and one of them mentioned a male life coach who’d recently moved to The Netherlands and was looking to set himself up in The Hague. She asked the group if anyone had any ideas where this man could turn to for help and I made a few suggestions. In the end, I was actually able to get this man in touch with a local networking club, and it turned out that my contact there was from the same country as this man. 

In doing this, I felt great. The life coach said that if I ever needed his help, he would be happy to return the favour. I don’t know if I ever will, and of course it was a lovely offer, but I feel maybe he can pass on the kindness to someone else. That would make me happy.

We may not always be in the position to pay back the person who has given to us. What we can do is give thanks to him or her, by expressing our gratitude, giving him or her a big hug, or sending them a prayer. Alternatively, we do something nice for someone else when we can.

In his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra (2007) mentions that we “give that which we seek” (p. 25). So if we seek love, we need to give love. If we want money and abundance, we give money and abundance. It’s all energy, and energy needs to flow and circulate. If we hoard money or we cling on to love, we stop it from flowing into our lives. And when we do give, we need to give whole-heartedly, not with a grudge. 

Some of you will remember my blog post, A Kind Stranger, about the man in the street who kindly gave me his umbrella. I wasn’t able to repay him, but later that day I gave one of my spare umbrellas to one of my colleagues because he needed it (and I really did not need 3 big golf umbrellas). I passed on the energy of kindness. It felt great. 

How can you pass on kindness? Who in your life could do with receiving your love, attention and appreciation? What can you give?

Mind Your Brain - Part 4: Serotonin

In this fourth part of my Mind Your Brain series, I want to talk about serotonin and its importance to our health. If you missed the other parts of the series, here are the links:

Mind Your Brain – Part 1: The Primitive Brain

Mind Your Brain – Part 2: The Intellectual Brain

Mind Your Brain – Part 3: The Stress Basket

We now know it’s important to be in our Intellectual brain if we want our lives to run smoothly. We make good decisions, we are on top of things, and we are able to make a proper assessment of our situation. This also ensures we produce the right kind of chemicals in the brain for healthy mental behaviour.

When we are depressed, we hardly produce any chemicals in the brain, and we feel we want to bury ourselves under our duvet, we are not motivated, nor do we feel good.

At the other end, when we are anxious, we produce chemicals that increase our stress levels, such as cortisol and adrenaline. That’s fine in some situations; for example, we need cortisol in the morning to help us wake up and get out of bed. Adrenaline is handy when we have an important presentation, or an athletic performance of some sort, to get us fired up. But too much of it, and for too long, is not good for our bodies, especially if you cannot find a way to discharge the excess energy it has created. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to act out, but we still need to find a healthy way to let off steam. Exercise is a great way – for instance, a ten-minute power walk around the block works wonders.

To encourage healthy mental behaviour we need serotonin, a neurotransmitter found in the brain. Positive thinking, positive interaction and positive activity are three ways in which we can encourage the release of serotonin in the brain which makes us feel good and in turn helps us get back into the Intellectual brain. What’s more, the brain cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. So we’d better make sure what is going on in our heads is positive (or if that is too challenging, at least neutral, not negative).

Serotonin is also a natural coping mechanism that cavemen and cavewomen received as a reward when they successfully hunted and gathered, or created communities. It helped them to cope with physical pain, too. These days, serotonin is just as important.

Other chemicals we need to encourage are noradrenaline, a motivating factor, and dopamine. Dopamine is released when you’ve had success, such as scoring a goal, passing your exams or getting the job you applied for. The release of these chemicals in the brain helps us to continue feeling good, making good decisions, and keeping us motivated to achieve success. 

In a nutshell, by thinking positively, by hanging out with people who make you feel good, and by participating in activities that you enjoy, you will be well on your way to getting back into your Intellectual brain, as well as managing and coping with stress.

Which of these things can you do today?

The Secret Word Of The Year

In a previous post, Time To Reflect: 2011, I wrote about my word for 2011 and how it unfolded during the year. Basically, the idea was to choose a word that would represent the year to come, and to give it a focus. For 2011 my word was Trust. For 2012 I have picked Play.

I was slightly surprised by this word. I know I have a tendency to take life too seriously. From that perspective, maybe it is the most appropriate word right now. 

So, what does Play mean to me? Well, I think the focus for this year needs to be having fun; to lighten up; and to play with my life rather than follow a sense of duty or should do’s (the “I should be doing this, I should be doing that” thoughts). Looking at Play from this point of view I started to get excited about it, especially as last year seemed like a year in which lots of serious things happened. 

A few weeks after choosing my word, I read a blog post by Fiona Robyn, from Writing Our Way Home, titled My secret word-of-the-year: s***loads. Curiously, I read the post and I was soon inspired to think up an alternative or secret word of the year. A kind of “I-ought-not-to-admit-what-I-REALLY-want-is-to-focus-on-this-other-word”. I loved that idea. This would be an extension of my ‘official’ word and something that would please my shadow side. Hmm, this would require some thought.

After playing with words and phrases, I settled for Mischievous. Not only do I want to Play this year, I want to be a bit Mischievous. I’ve often thought I am a bit of a Miss-Goody-Two-Shoes, and sometimes what I really feel like doing can be seen as unexpected and slightly out of character. My shadow side wants to be a rebel. Not in a horrible way that will harm or disrespect people, but in a way that questions why certain things are the way they are. It’s about pushing the boundaries, proving that instead of thinking we’re limited beings, we are unlimited. To question the status quo. I compare it to how a toddler constantly asks ‘why?’ questions when she or he is learning about the world. It can drive some adults crazy – me included – but when I think about it, the questions the toddler asks can be quite valuable.  

So being Mischievous is all about taking Play a step further and seeing what I can get away with. I want to play and get up to 'mischief' with a twinkle in my eye. To view the world from a more child-like stance. I may fall hard and flat on my nose, but I won’t know until I try. Who knows what will happen and what opportunities will come my way, because I am less bogged down in the ‘serious stuff’. 

So far, 2012 has been pretty damn good. Dare I say, this could be my best year yet?

Guest Blog: How Inflamed Are You?

Today I present you with something a little different: a post from my very first guest blogger! 

I have invited my friend and colleague, Ed Ley, who is based in Bristol, UK, to share some of his amazing health and fitness knowledge. Ed has recently set up his new blog www.edleypt.com where he shares what he knows – a must-read as he keeps up-to-date with the latest in the health and fitness industry, cutting out the nonsense and giving you the facts.

Enjoy!

*Some of the bold text are links to interesting articles

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How Inflamed Are You?

Inflammation is a lot like stress. It gets a pretty bad rap but the truth is we couldn’t live without it.  Our bodies need inflammation for survival; inflammation is our body’s way of fighting injury and infection.

Inflammation is a response of the immune system when faced with injury, infection or irritation.  In the case of allergies, such as hay fever, asthma, Sinusitis, rhinitis, arthritis, dermatitis, think of a word, put “itis” on the end and blame inflammation.  Anyway, in the case of allergies, the allergen attaches itself to antibodies, which in turn triggers the release of histamines. This is usually a dramatic over-reaction which in turn creates inflammation and, boom, you can’t breathe (or whatever your favoured reaction is). 

The initial response of inflammation is a vital first step in protecting the body and ridding it of infection or injury.  However, when the immune system is always activated inflammation can become chronic. Chronic inflammation can lead to chronic disease.

The list of chronic diseases is not a nice one, and avoiding chronic inflammation is a great way to keep yourself off the list, or help remove yourself from the list should you find yourself already on it:

Cancer, diabetes, arthritis (any “itis” really) depression, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, obesity.  

So inflammation is vital to our survival. It is always first on the scene after any injury and has the good sense to stick around until we are safe to move again. The second it spots something we might be allergic to it’s in there like a shot cleaning everything up; in that sense inflammation is not unlike my gran…sorry gran…I think you’re swell… 

So what is causing all of the inflammation to become chronic? What can be done to avoid it?

Diet: Consumption of processed foods, grains and toxic fats is a massive cause of inflammation and it is easy to see how obesity makes it to our chronic diseases list.  The first step to fighting both excess fat and inflammation is a toxin-free diet.  This means removal of junk food, sweets, pastries, cakes, pasta, rice, bread, soda drinks (including diet).  Switch to fresh meat, fish and vegetable, some fruit and nuts for an anti-inflammatory diet.

  

Sleep: Too much or too little sleep has long been linked with a decrease in life expectancy. It is thought that this is due largely to increased inflammation. You should aim for 6-8 hours of undisturbed shut eye in a completely dark room free of clutter and technology.

Stress:  Stress, whatever the trigger, be it work, relationships or money worries, or intense long-duration cardiovascular exercise, produces a chemical called cortisol, which also triggers an inflammatory response.  Cut your stress now, it really could save your life.

Relax: To truly relax is to do something you enjoy. This can have a hugely positive effect with production of serotonin and endorphins counteracting the effects of stress on the body.

Too much Omega 6 Not enough Omega 3 : Omega 6’s are found in grain-fed meat, processed foods, vegetable oils, and corn.  Omega 6 leads to a large inflammatory response, and fortunately we don’t need to cut them from our diet; rather we need to make sure the balance is in favour of Omega 3. Omega 3 has many documented benefits but most are based around their anti-inflammatory properties.  I would recommend reducing Omega 6 where possible while supplementing Omega 3  (EPA and DHA should total over 1000mg per day).

Move:  The temptation here is to say exercise, but a quick look at the research done on Blue Zone (areas where people live to be over 100) suggest that any type of physical activity done regularly will fit the mould.  Exercise is merely a thing of convenience, but gardening, building, walking, cooking, cleaning, and DIY, all fall under the category of exercise.  So tune into ‘The Good Life’ and learn how to fight inflammation and live to be a Centenarian! 

Ed Ley is owner of Absolute Health gym in Bristol, England. His aim is to educate people on the facts of health and fitness making good health accessible and understandable.

Creator of the Absolute Health plan a daily workout, recipe and fat loss plan website;  The Absolute health time strapped workout App. and has recently started www.edleypt.com to help share his knowledge with as many as possible.

Language & Identity

I have been back in The Netherlands for almost six months now. Some of you may not know that I was born in The Hague, and I lived just outside the city for 18 years. My British expat parents sent me to Dutch schools and I grew up in the Dutch culture. Even though I have a British passport, I feel I am partly Dutch, too.

Since moving back here, I’ve found my fluency in the Dutch language is not as good as it used to be. However, it is coming back to me the more I speak it and the more I am involved with the Dutch community. 

Now and then, I still get frustrated that I cannot fully express who I am in the Dutch language. Whether that’s true or not, it’s how I seem to feel at the moment. I don’t remember whether expressing myself was a problem or not when I was young – I think I was too busy with school and hockey. 

It’s most noticeable when I am in a group of people. For instance, when you’re sitting around a table chatting away, and there is a bit of banter going on. It’s then that I find I am not as quick to react as before, so I tend to hold back. Sometimes, I have to construct the sentence in my head first before I can say it – by which point the moment has passed and if I said what I was thinking of, the timing would be all wrong (when trying to be witty, for example). When I observe myself when I am speaking in English, in a similar group setting, I notice how much more animated I am, more engaged in the conversation and able to express myself. 

It hasn’t helped being away for 12 years. Luckily, I do still have a grasp of the language and the more I practice the more I find I don’t have to think so much about it. I am, albeit slowly, accessing parts of the brain where I know the Dutch words and grammar are stored. 

All this makes me wonder, how closely is language linked to identity? And vice versa? For me being bi-lingual is part of who I am. So being fluent in Dutch is important to me.

I haven’t done much research into this subject and I don’t know what other bi-lingual adults or Cross-Cultural Kids (CCKs) feel when they’ve not used one of their languages for a while. Of course, what I don’t want to do is over-analyse the whole situation and get bogged down in it. That’s not healthy either. But I find it fascinating to observe what happens to me in one language over another. It could well be my perception and that in reality there is no difference. Maybe it’s all an illusion. Who knows? And according to some of the older Dutch men at the running club, I sound charming and I ought not to change the way I speak! 

It would be interesting to revisit this post in six months’ time to see how I feel then. I actually feel positive that in time I will return to the level of fluency that I had before; that it will become more automatic. I just need a little more geduld!

Mind Your Brain - Part 3: The Stress Basket

So far in the Mind Your Brain series, I have discussed the Primitive brain and the Intellectual brain. To refresh your memory, here are those posts again:

Mind Your Brain – Part 1: The Primitive Brain

Mind Your Brain – Part 2: The Intellectual Brain

Now, I would like to talk about the ways in which we can help ourselves get back in to our Intellectual brain. First, we need to understand how anxiety is created.

Anxiety is the accumulation of negative thoughts, either through negative introspection or negative forecasting. Negative introspection means thinking negatively about the past (e.g. “I wish I hadn’t eaten that chocolate bar”), and negative forecasting is about the future (e.g. “I hope I don’t slip up in next week’s presentation”). It can be about little or big things. Often it’s not the event itself that causes anxiety, but our thoughts around it. What’s more, our brains cannot tell the difference between imagination and reality. 

Every time you have a negative thought, that thought is stored in our brains. To explain it further, I like to use the metaphor of a stress basket. 

We have a pile of washing that we put in a basket to sort out one day, but the more we put in without sorting first, the higher the pile gets. Then it takes one extra item on top of the pile and it all topples over. When our stress basket has reached a peak and ‘topples over’, our Primitive brain thinks we’re in danger and will step in. We lose intellectual control.

To stop this, we need to sort out our stress basket. Part of our sleep consists of rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which is our natural mechanism for sorting out stored, anxious thoughts. However, if there is too much to sort out – or we don’t get enough sleep – our brains can’t handle it and will stop the sorting process before reaching the bottom of the pile. We then wake up in the morning with an unsorted pile left in the basket, feeling irritable, lethargic or grumpy. Not a great way to start the day.

We can help this sorting process along through relaxation (or trance). This replicates the REM sleep and can boost the sorting of the stress basket. When we listen to a relaxation CD, or soothing music whilst focusing on our breathing, for example, we go into a state of relaxation or trance. We also go into trance whilst exercising, another great way to allow your brain to process negative thoughts. See a previous post on how running helps me in this way: What A Difference A Run Makes.

Finally, I would like to share the following diagram. As you can see, when we experience a trigger (e.g. a looming deadline), we may create negative thoughts around it, which in turn increases anxiety and decreases serotonin (a feel good chemical in the brain), we lose intellectual control, the Primitive brain steps in, and creates more negative thoughts, which increases anxiety, and so forth. A negative downward spiral. 

We don’t often have control over the trigger, but what we do have control over is how we react. Be aware of your reactions to the triggers, then you can start to change the negative thought patterns to more neutral, or positive, ones. The more we practice, the more the positive thought patterns become a habit instead.

Next time I will talk about the role of serotonin for healthy mental behaviour. Until then, how can you start sorting out your stress basket?