I have been doing a lot of writing ‘behind the scenes’ lately, hence why I have been quiet on the blog front. I am also letting the dust settle from my recent road trip around the UK before I decide what to do with my travel stories.
For now, I can share that I had a wonderful trip. Even though what I set out to do didn’t go to plan. I went with the flow instead, trusting my gut, my feelings and my intuition. And actually it was quite fun to throw out the plan and head into the unknown, making up my route as I went along. It was liberating as well as daunting, yet reassuring to be reminded that in the face of sudden change I can rely on myself for guidance.
The other day I read a blog post written by Jo Parfitt that instantly resonated with me. It was titled Shifting Sands and it got me thinking – and it inspired me to write this post.
How do we really know what we want until we experience it? How can we know what we love, what we will put up with, what we need and so forth, unless we’ve had the experience of it? We can make lists upon lists of what we like and don’t like, the pros and cons, the must-haves and the must-not-haves.
But on paper or in our imaginations, life can be very different to reality and what actually comes to pass.
We can guess what is important, what we want or think we want (there is a difference), and we can be pleasantly, or unpleasantly, surprised by what turns up.
It is part of the adventure. It is part of life. The mind always wants to label things, name experiences and distinguish between the likes and the dislikes. When we take the mind out of the equation and we listen only to the heart, and we allow our heart to experience life, then we find it does not judge. It does not label things. It just goes with the flow. It loves everything, the so-called good and the so-called bad (which is the ego or mind again putting things into neat little boxes – the heart does not make a distinction).
Something we think we might not enjoy can turn into something we can no longer live without. Likewise, something we think we will love to do can turn into a nightmare. It ought not to stop us from wishing and dreaming, but we need to be aware that at any minute we can reach a turning point, that plans can change at the last minute. When we ask for something, we need to ensure we also ask for the courage to deal with the consequences of our request.
In the meantime while we wait for our dreams to unfold and manifest, it is important to enjoy the process, the here and now. Why wait to be happy until you have lost weight or got a better job, for example?
What if those things never happen? What if that supposedly ‘better’ job isn’t any better?
Again, it is the ego or mind setting up rules to govern how/when/where we can and will be happy. It is creating a conditional happiness. “When X happens, I will be happy.” “When I get Y, I will be happy.” “When I meet my other half, I will be happy and I will feel loved.” (For the record, I do not believe that we are ‘half-made’ and need to find another half to feel whole or full. Each and everyone of us is already whole. Once more, it is the mind placing a condition upon love as well as happiness.)
If we adhere to these rules, we miss out on other potentials for happiness and joy that we could have experienced along the way. We limit ourselves. Essentially we are building the bars for our own cage to lock ourselves up in. We are the ones putting the shackles around our ankles and wrists.
I believe happiness does not depend on a set of conditions. Happiness can be experienced right here, right now. Just being alive in the first place. And as I feel happy in this moment, then really it does not matter what happens next. Remember the ego loves to create, and live in, drama. The heart does no such thing.
I endeavour to break free from these self-imposed shackles and conditions for happiness and love.
Will you join me?