Angry Writing

Don’t worry, this is not an angry blog post.

Rather, it is my experience of how I channel negative energy, such as anger, through writing. One of my recent blog posts, What A Difference A Run Makes, talks about how through trance we naturally process negative thoughts/energies that we may have accumulated during the day. What I mentioned in the post was how running is a way of discharging those negative energies. I often feel refreshed and positive when I’ve come back from a run.

Similarly, I find I get the same benefits from writing when I am feeling emotional, particularly when I am feeling angry, upset or resentful. I put pen to paper, or fingertips to keyboard, and I describe how I am feeling. I get it out quickly. I go into a sort of trance. It’s no longer in my head, it’s out there, on paper or the screen, and I’ve got it off my chest, so to speak.

The other day I felt agitated. It started when I woke up later than I like to and I’d had some intense dreams. The dreaming state, or REM, is also a natural way to process negative energies. No surprise that I woke up feeling enervated. Lethargic. Dare I say it...grumpy? I thought to myself, “It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?” and then it turned out to be like that; a self-fulfilling prophecy perhaps?

Nevertheless, I couldn’t find my rhythm that morning. I was distracted. I was feeling angry and fed up, and I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t want to feel that way and I asked myself, “What small thing can I do to make myself feel better in this very moment?”

“Have a nice cup of tea,” popped into my head.

The cup of tea lifted my mood, but only for half an hour.

So, what else could I do?

I pottered some more, not really achieving anything, getting even more fed up with myself – I recognised the signs I was procrastinating.

 

I sat down around 4 o’clock in the afternoon, poised to write my next blog post. Again, I couldn’t get into it. I started one topic, then another, deleted a couple of words, then deleted the whole lot in a huff. I stared at the blank Word document. Then I wrote “I am fed up.” That was the catalyst for finally getting out what was bothering me. Typing frantically, I was surprised by what I discovered.

Afterwards, I felt great. I felt refreshed, energised, light and my spirit returned. I’d written a page full of my thoughts. Messy and dotted with mistakes, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was I dumped ‘stuff’. I got out of my head and back into my body. I realised I was hungry – if I’d stayed in my head I wouldn’t have noticed – and got myself a snack.

Writing is powerful, no matter who you are, what you do and whether you consider yourself a writer or not. I believe writing is a healthy way to un-bottle my emotions and not let them fester till I explode.

That’s two different ways I release my emotions. What do you do to let off steam?